Im torn

Plain as it can be I am torn. I am unsure what I should do so I am making the Age old mistake of doing and saying nothing.Anything I might say will only cause pain and that was never my goal. I just get so hopeful someimes even when its not real, just to watch it blow up in my face, again.

Am I a total Copout?

"I am a mirror, I show a reflection. Reflections are just that, not
what i want but what is a lot of the time. I don't like showing
hurtful things or not being able to help. Thats why i try to show good
as well as bad. I am not the best when it comes to tact, I am sorry
for my fault but not even a mirror is perfect. I try not to make
excuses for myself, i feel im doing it now. I hope you will still
consider me to be a friend when you wake up tomorrow, but i know that
somethings said can not be forgotten or unsaid. Those are written
across the history that is my life. I will always tell the truth to
you and if i come across harsh I may not mean it. Sometimes though you
dont need to be buttered up you need tough love. People open up to me
because they see themselves in me, their insecurities and their
faults, not the greatest reason but there it is.And i inturn realize
this and so dont judge when they do open up.All of us make mistakes.
To be honest, I think you need time from me and need to get out there
and make friends with some people( females). I know its hard for you
but there is my opinion. So assuming that you read this and didnt just
delete it like you might, I am sorry for hurting your feelings. try
not to hate me, please." I emailed this to Jess after being a huge ass, I feel like im cheating but it's true. I mean everything i said, It would be easier if I didnt care, bt I can't just abandon her, not when she needs me to be there for her. please someone respond to me.

That line in the sand.

I like to think that im a pretty understanding guy.I try not to judgepeople and I dont fly off the handle when people upset me. every now and thentough some one pushes me too far. I was able to deal with the ambiguous relationship and the constant Cody Bashing at every turn but when my mother gets involved I startto get a little heated. My mother is a wonderful person who has done me nothing but good since day one. She asks very little of me ad expects no reward, she is a far better person than i am and in many ways stronger than me. I may have issues with her now nd then but thats to be expected, that does not however give anybody the right to criticize my mother in front of me or behind my back. Any one who feels they are right in doing so needs to take a long hard look at themselves and really think about what kind of flaws they have and what mistakes they have made. Not to mention that all things mentioned were told in CONFIDENCE that i felt I could trust. Idont go around talking about other poeple's issues or GIGANTIC flaws.I expect the same respect and courtesy from other people. Only madmen dont trust but trust is a two edged sword, and one more sharp than a razor. If said individual had been a male they would have been broken and bleeding and only their gender saved them from that fate. My mother is OFF LIMITS. Understood?

I say to you, Ride The Lightning

I am officially giving notice to all of those who actually follow this blog that soon you will not be able to anymore. I am blocking this blog for my own private uses and dont feel like my thoughts and feelings are safe any longer. thiss will take efffect immediately. If I give the ok some may still access this page but most will not.