Two isn't exactly many.

So a third rant on which I will cover a various range of topics. First I talked to my parents and they didnt freak out yet possibly not at all they seemed surprised that I didn't just drop it on them. I havent said any thing about the damn calculator yet probably won't. I askedif I could got o______ for Jess's Xmas gift Ive decided I'm getting her a(n) ________. Ive only told two people, ______ and _______. Confused yet Jess? paybacks a bitch. anywho I love you and you'll love it if it works out okay. Im looking frward to today after school. although you seem out of sorts and less responsive than usual. I hope I can get to the bottom of it in time to still have a little fun. again I love you. I cant stand poepe at work who smoke. They get all sorts of special treatment because they made bad life descisionsand now lack the self control to quit a habit that will most likely be their downfall. The average smoker spends two full days in a year smoking while on the job. where the hell is my two days I dont get thirty seconds to get a drink or sit down, but no they get ten to fifteen minutes to do something that is illegal in minors and is a deadly addiction. In my oppinion smokers are worse than Alchoholics because they dont usaully get drunk at work whereas smokers do get a small high while at work and there are no actions against it. Im addicted to candy and caffiene where the hell is my ten minute candy break. Neither of which is proven to kill you or cause cancer. okay I got to go I love you have a good day.

Rantings implies more than one.

So im going to go out on a limb and say that your not upset with me any more I could be wrong though stranger things have happened. Im am so stressed out about my stupid calculator that might be why my back is hurting so bad today. I found out that I have a 76 in my precal class and unless I can get it up by next week I'm afraid Im going to be grounded over at least part of Christmas break again. I dont know if I should talk to my parents or just wait it out and see. Either could have bad reactions. I wish I knew what to do or how to say I lost that damn calculator and Im going to have to pay for it. I am stressed because my parents are still keeping me strapped for money and I havent gone shopping for you yet. I cant stand it. hopefully I will actually get more than six hours of sleep this weekend. I hope so anyway. Anyhow I love youand Ill see you next hour.

The first among many

okay so Ive been thinking about getting one of these for a while since I can't talk to alot of people and those I can talk to I dont want to burden. I mightas well start with the stress. Im stressed, big surprise huh? Now adays It seems Im always stressed work school family and yes that means you too Jess. Speaking of which I love you. I know youre still mad at me even if you deny it and I cant blame you at all. you have no Idea how bad it hurts to see you unhappy or in pain. I know I caused that pain and that hurtseven worse because that wont go away ever. The fact that I am the cause will always kill me inside. I am currently debating when I should tell you about this. you dont need anything else on your plate. You broke down and cried on my shoulder today, part of me wishes you would do that more. not the crying but reaching out to me and sharing. I like to feel that you need me and I like making you feel better. I wish I could take some of your workload from you but I cant and I know this. it still urts though. I see all of the things that you are going through and dealing with and fell proud and honored that someone so strong would choose me with all of my flaws. enough moping I have to eat and put on my fake smile to try and help you.I dont know if it will work though. sometimes it does.