Welcome Home "Sanitarium"

I think I'm feeling a little better about how things are right now I just need to focus on work and not stress so much about what I can't change. Mostly this post is for Jerry; If you read this I want you to know that I have nothing against you, really I don't. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and In fact I didn't know you knew about it until you replied the first time. I'm going to say straight out what I feel so that you know where I stand. I loved Jess, I did, I know that and I was willing to do anything for her at any cost to myself, I hope she knew that, I felt she was the one but shit happens and you have to roll with the punches. I have a couple of problems with her right now, first is the fact that everytime we were together it seems like I was telling her that Ididn't want her to feel pressured and she always told me she wasn't, That was a lie. Second I hurt because she gave me the biggest ass chewing and said she wanted to be friends and now through it all she deletes me off her stuff and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I don't care if she doesnt read this I just dont like the whole avoidance thing. Third I can't stand the way she started dating you again( assuming of course you are) she could have at least told me or talked to me about it. And to add to that if she couldn't do the last why not just wait the one evening I had left to enjoy before I left before hooking up. That really pisses me off still. And through it all Im torn because I feel alright when I dont think about her but when I do think about her it hurts and yet it's all i can do to force myslef to stop because it feels so good. She was a year of my life Jerry, all I did this past year and before then was for her. Where do I go from there, and stil maintain something, I can't just let her go completely? I can understand your side of things; you must have strong feelings for her maybe even love or you could just be giving it a second chance who knows for sure, but you probably dont appreciate listening to some guy talking about your girlfriend like this( assuming afore mentioned) I know it would bother me a lot. Just so you know she may want to use my " Jealousy" as a reason or excuse but I tried to explain that it wasnt jealousy in its traditional sense. I just loved her so much that if I wasnt near her I wanted to be and if somebody else was I was jealous of them for being near her. Not as property or something, never that. I always considered it the biggest blessing to be near her and that it was her right at any time to say I wasn't welcome in that way, like when I was clingy in public. Im very sexist towards men, I feel that any real man would feel the same way towards the woman they love, its almost like worship to me. anyhow I felt you had the right to know how and what I feel, please take care of her I'd hate to have to destroy you on her behalf, I know that I would do it too.

P.S. The song is by Metallica